I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
