Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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