It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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