So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
