Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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