he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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