Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
