We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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