I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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