i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
