Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
