dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
