Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am one with the molecules
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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