I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
