That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The air taste purple.
Randomize
