I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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