I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
