she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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