i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
