JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
