He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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