elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
bring money and cleavage
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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