Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
