You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
