You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
