we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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