Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
