Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
