The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
