im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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