wanna go halves on a baby?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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