Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
