i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
bring money and cleavage
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
COCAINE IS GR8
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
