i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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