apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
