So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
