There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
