Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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