We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
