I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize