it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
