ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am spending my child support on dildos
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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