How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is wine microwaveable?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
