so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
