cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
