I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
