Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
