Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
