He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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