I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
