Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
