wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
