yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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